#TallGirlProblems: 6 Things We Probably Don’t Want to Hear
I'm tall. Like pants labeled "long" are still too short kinda tall (shout out to stores that sell 'tall' and 'extended inseam' options). I had my fair share of height related awkward moments during my adolescent years, but eventually grew (pun intended) to embrace the fact that I was vertically blessed. As I got older, the only thing that I'd still struggle with was my choice of footwear. There used to be a time where I felt I couldn't wear certain shoes because at a whopping 5'11" (and 1/4 thankyouverymuch) I figured I should probably bypass the 5" platforms because, well, I'm already tall. Those days are (mostly) behind me now with the only time I choose shorter heels being when I'm out with my 5'8" husband. Yes, I married outside of my height.
There are times though when a particularly fantastic pair comes into my life and I must rock them no matter the circumstance. In this case, we just walk around getting our Kimora and Russell on (me minus the exposed mammories and him minus the baseball cap). He doesn't mind.
Anyway, in the spirit of love and all that is good in the world, I wanted to share some comments that are generally not well received by #TeamTall. If you're guilty of any of these, stop it. Stop it now.
- *stares* "Wow, you're tall!" Really? Thanks for telling me. Usually followed by…
- "Do you play basketball?" Sir/Madam, I am entirely too uncoordinated to play basketball and let's not even discuss the possibilty that I could break a nail.
- "Are you a model?" Okay, this one isn't so bad actually. Thank you for the compliment, but no.
- "Will you grab that *insert item* off of that shelf for me?" I feel like I perpetuate this one as I generally oblige these requests. I blame my mother who at a towering 5'4" is always having me grab things off of high shelves. Side note: Why'd she put it up there if she can't reach it? Lemme stop before I get a whoopin'.
- "Why are you wearing heels?" I'm sorry, was that outlawed? -_-
- "How tall are you?" This is my least favorite #TallGirl question. Seriously, once I give you this information, what will you do with it? Are you gonna play the numbers? Cuz if you win I want half.
Before I end my little rant, I want to share a story with you. A tale of #TallGirl foolery.
Last week, I was walking through Macy's mindin' my business when I saw a guy walking toward me. I was already on guard cuz dude had prison tats on his face (his face!) and I noticed him looking my way. Now, I'm from New York and we are not a trusting people but I have been trying to adopt a more warm and fuzzy way of handling folk. This may not have been the right time for that. Enter the longest escalator ride ever:
Dude: Damn, you're tall!
Me: *Looks down at him and smiles weakly*
Dude: *notices wedding ring* Oh, you're married? That's too bad, you're the perfect height for me. Just what I need… a nice tall thing.
Me: *blank stare*
Dude: How long you been married? You happy?
Me: *visibly annoyed* Yes, very.
Dude: Oh, well congratulations.
Me: Thank you *walks away so quickly, I didn't even stop at the Mac counter*
Dude: *shouting after me* Bye tall one!
I can't y'all. I just can't. #DoneAndDone
What say you? Are you #TeamTall? What crazy things do people say to you?